BY PROFESSOR TRANSFORM AQORAU, VICE CHANCELLOR, SOLOMON ISLANDS NATIONAL UNIVERSITY
Papua New Guinea is the Land of the Unexpected. Tonga is the Friendly Islands. Fiji is the Land of Smiles. Vanuatu is the Land of the Happiest People.
And Solomon Islands?
Surely, we are now the Land of the Never-Ending Plot Twist.
We seem to possess an extraordinary talent for making international headlines—often for all the wrong reasons.
We switched diplomatic recognition to China and became the incubator of the geopolitical contest for the Pacific. Before that, some international commentators could barely find us on a map. Suddenly, everyone discovered a deep and historic friendship with Solomon Islands.
Delegations arrived. Aircraft landed. Agreements multiplied. Strategic analysts began explaining our own national interests to us.
Then came the security agreement with China. Canberra, Wellington and Washington collectively developed high blood pressure.
Then came the Shiprider Agreement—more strategy, more sovereignty, more lawyers and more diplomatic language that ordinary people needed another lawyer to interpret.
But now, toilet paper has capped the lot.
It beats everything else.
SBD6.18 million worth of toilet paper!
According to the Auditor-General’s findings reported by RNZ, the original toilet-paper contract was approximately SBD6.18 million—against an overall budget of only SBD300,000. It was later reduced to SBD1.89 million, which was apparently considered a bargain.
At those prices, this was surely no ordinary toilet paper. Each roll should have arrived in a government vehicle, escorted by police, wrapped in silk and embossed with the national coat of arms.
Perhaps it was four-ply sovereignty.
Perhaps every sheet contained a strategic policy.
Perhaps it was designed to wipe away procurement rules, financial controls and institutional memory.
The High Court has now ruled that expenditure from the Sports Solomons Fund was subject to the Public Financial Management Act. It also found that certain expenditure lacked lawful authority and that the blanket waiver of competitive tendering was beyond the NHA’s powers.
This is serious. Public money does not stop being public money merely because we are hosting a major event.
The 2023 Pacific Games were a proud national achievement. Our athletes ran, jumped and lifted weights. Unfortunately, parts of the procurement system appear to have staged their own events: hurdling financial controls, high-jumping over the budget and sprinting away from competitive tendering.
Our athletes finished their races in 2023.
Accountability is still running the marathon.
We can laugh at the absurdity, but the lesson is not funny. Special funds are not magical treasure chests. Major national events do not suspend the law. Public procurement must never become an expensive private adventure financed by taxpayers.
So let Papua New Guinea remain the Land of the Unexpected, Tonga the Friendly Islands, Fiji the Land of Smiles, and Vanuatu the Land of the Happiest People.
Solomon Islands has surely earned its own title:
The Land of the Never-Ending Plot Twist—where geopolitics is complicated, procurement is adventurous, and even the toilet paper comes with a multimillion-dollar storyline.
We have made headlines for many wrong reasons, but this one wipes the floor with everything that came before it.
You could not make it up.
But somehow, we always do.
